Dear New York City,
This is a very hard letter to write. I admit that I've been putting it off for a little while, even though I knew it was inevitable. You might have noticed that I've been a little quiet and withdrawn lately, and the time has come to tell you why.
These last six and a half years have been amazing - really, truly amazing. We've seen each other through some hard times (RA, break ups, the economic downturn), some really good times (a million amazing meals, fantastic art and unforgettable friends), and everything in between. I know I haven't always been there for you, and you haven't always made it easy to love you, nonetheless, I do. I really, really do.
But that being said, it's time for me to leave. I know in the past, you've heard me threaten to leave you before and even dream about how great other cities might be. And I know that in the end, I always stayed. But this time is different. Even though things have been really great between us lately, there's just no denying that I'm ready for a change- a new challenge, a new start. Six and half years is a long time- I was just a healthy, young girl of 23 when I first moved here, but now I'm a grown woman of 30 with a complicated life. I have different needs now, and even though I really, truly wish that you could give me what I need, I think we both know that that's not going to happen, at least not now.
So next month, I'm going to go. I'm heading to a new town: Baltimore. You might have heard of it. It's not as big and glamorous as you. It hasn't been in as many movies or TV shows. It doesn't hang out with tons of celebrities like you do, and it doesn't stay up all night, every night doing a million crazy things. But it's a really cool place, too, with tons of great food, history and a beautiful harbor. And it's going to give me some things you never could, like financial stability, a big apartment with a bathtub, and a calmer life. I know, I know, I love all the crazy things we have done together, but I really think this is the best thing for me now even though it will be heartbreaking to leave you behind. I promise, I'll still come and visit. I really hope we can remain in each others lives. And who knows, maybe I'll even end up back here one day.
But for now, I'm heading to Charm City to start a new job and a new life. It's going to mean new doctors, new friends, learning to drive again and a whole host of other surprises, I'm sure. I know I'll have a lot more time to take care of myself and think about my needs for a change. I might finally learn to tango or work on my book. Maybe I'll even find love again- who knows? It feels like just about anything is possible!
I really hope that you'll be happy for me. I promise I'll stay in touch. Thanks for everything you have given me- I wouldn't be who I am without you. Well, I guess this is it. Wish me luck!
Love always,
Sara
I have great feelings about this move & feel that your destiny awaits you in Baltimore!
Posted by: millicent | July 04, 2009 at 10:27 PM
I admire you knowing that this is the right time for change. (I love change myself) Yes, there will be challenges, but just think of the new, exciting adventures that await you. I'll be watching for updates. Have you connected with any RA friends there yet?
MissDazey42 (twitter)
Posted by: MissDazey42 | July 04, 2009 at 11:20 PM
That's so exciting. I bet you're going to have so much fun there.
Just remember not to stress about the move. Stress is bad. :)
Posted by: S. | July 05, 2009 at 01:11 AM
It sounds like this move is going to be a good one for you...and did you say bathtub? Yes! I'll be looking forward to hearing what life, love, and work bring your way in Baltimore.
Posted by: RA Guy | July 05, 2009 at 07:37 AM
Best of luck!
Posted by: ValleyWriter | July 05, 2009 at 10:00 AM
M-thanks...I think/hope so, too!
MizzDazey42- Not yet..but I'm hoping to find some Ra Ra's down there. Thanks for the words of support!
S.- totally. I'm trying not to, but it's hard! I think I'll be less stressed about it once I find an apt. In the meantime, trying to do a lot of yoga.
RA Guy- yeah, I love my apt. in nyc, but it doesn't have a bathtub. I've decided that's non-negotiable in B'more.
ValleyWriter- thanks!! I'll take all the luck I can get :)
Posted by: sara | July 05, 2009 at 12:22 PM
Congrats on this big step Sara! I agree with all the other posts - change is good. I'm sure you'll love Baltimore... you'll get all settled in and find some nice Ra Ra's to help make the transition a little easier. Good luck :) PS - is that top picture the view from your apt in NYC?! Beautiful if it is!
Posted by: claire | July 05, 2009 at 01:10 PM
Claire-Thanks! It definitely helps having so many people chime in with encouragement. I *wish* that was the view from my apt. It's a photo I took from the High Line- an elevated park in Chelsea/Meat Packing District that just opened recently.
Posted by: sara | July 05, 2009 at 01:16 PM
Congrats Sara! You are going to love Baltimore- not that I've lived there but I love visiting friends there. Speaking as someone who has just done the same thing, the whole thing is incredibly overwhelming and stressful. But once you start unpacking, it starts to get more fun! Also, I got slightly creative with getting meds to get me through my insurance waiting period- let me know if you need any of those. And again, congrats!!!!!!
Posted by: Amanda | July 05, 2009 at 05:27 PM
Wow. I look forward to hearing how you tackle the move and the new city. We moved right before Christmas this past year. It wasn't a new town, but I had to admit how much help I needed to accomplish it. Before RA I would just get things done. Things still get done, just differently. Anyway, I still did too much but we were in our house 6 days before Christmas.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by: liz | July 05, 2009 at 07:36 PM
Best of luck!!
Posted by: Jane | July 05, 2009 at 09:59 PM
Sara, you've already got one Sick Chick down here! My name's Kristen. I went to college up in Baltimore and live in Southern Maryland. Feel free to get in contact if you need anything.
~K~
Posted by: Kristen | July 06, 2009 at 12:28 AM
Sara I just had to say your "letter" is so well written and understood. We all leave things behind we love at one point or another, but I think your life is sending you in a wonderful direction!
ps...and THANK GOODNESS you will have a bathtub! I have a bathtub, so whenever I move on to the next place my checklist is bathtub, DISH WASHER!
Posted by: Tiffany Westrich | July 06, 2009 at 02:23 AM
Amanda- i would love any med tips you might be able to pass on...though i think i won't have a gap in coverage-cobra for 1 month, then the new starts (fingers crossed). thanks for the positive words!
I might be turning to you a lot over the next few months...
Liz-I remember you mentioning that. Good advice to heed. It won't be like the last time I moved, plain and simple.
Jane-thanks!
Kristen- so happy to find you!!!!! will email you soon....and yes, a baltimore sick chick club is on its way!
Tiffany-thanks as always for the support. yeah..bathtub is now non-negotiable!
Posted by: sara | July 06, 2009 at 11:53 PM
we'll definitely miss you in nyc (especially since we just met!). but wishing you all the best in baltimore. here's to a lower-stress, bathtub-filled adventure!
Posted by: jodi | July 07, 2009 at 10:09 AM
Sara, I've been following you for a little while and coincidentally just returned from vacation in Charm City - this was my second trip there in 2 years, that's how much I love it. I thought last week that I could actually live there - it's proximity to VA and DC is exciting, the city is great to get around in, and while not NY, I think you'll make a new life for yourself that you'll like very much. It's not where you are, but who you are. Keep being yourself and don't let the RA take charge.
Going on 11 years with RA and just took up golf, still ski every weekend in season and stay active no matter what.
Leigh
Posted by: Leigh Peltier | July 07, 2009 at 12:50 PM
I live in Baltimore! And I'd totally be up for starting a Sick Chick Club branch here. Good luck on your move! Baltimore is secretly a wonderful place, and you can eat delicious crab cakes here, and you can watch The Wire and point out all the Baltimore locations you've seen!
Posted by: Shashi | July 09, 2009 at 02:26 PM
Jodie-I know! the timing is not the best, but then again, I've never had good timing, so there you go. See you at the picnic tomorrow!
Leigh-thanks for leaving a comment and all the positive words! I love that just took up golf and ski all the time-that's awesome. It'll be a big change for me, but I think a really good one (once I find an apartment, that is!)
Shashi- awesome! Two other sick chickers in Baltimore also emailed me, so I think we have the makings of fantastic sick chick happy hour!
Posted by: sara | July 11, 2009 at 06:34 PM